The Snor Theory Pt1

Written by armand. Posted in Opinion

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Published on August 18, 2011 with No Comments

Every kingdom has one. No, not the hero, the clown. We have Pieter “die snor” de Villiers. Is he a clown? He is doing a damn good job convincing us he is.

The court jester brushes up his skills

Our world famous coach (for all the wrong reasons)

Everyone was upset/shocked/surprised(?) when P Divvy took over ahead of all-conquering (one-dimensional?) Blue Bull saviour Heyneke Meyer. Politicians rejoiced! Whee, a black coach. He will transform SA Rugby to the representative team it should be. What a disappointment. To all.

In theory, great. We have a (supposedly) unbiased coach, backed by a solid union leadership. We have a strong, young World Cup winning side. How hard can it be? Very. In comes Divvy, picks the same team the “boring” Jake White chose. He gets lambasted as the coach who rode his predecessors coat tails. Ok. Step 2, pick a new team. More uncapped players. More losses. But it is not our fault. It is the stupid IRB who changed the laws as soon as we mastered them. And the referees. They are the incompetent gits. No Div. It is because our gameplan has been figured out in 2007. We have no new plan. Well, not an original one mind you.

But, this is not Div’s biggest issue. It can happen to anyone. Yes Rudolph, to you too.  The trick is to own up, face the facts, admit you were wrong. And that is why I love P Divvy. From his Schalk Burger Ballerina comment to his theory on the difference between winning and losing, this man can churn out gems faster than John Smit collapses scrum at prop. Feel free to add your favorites, but here are mine:

“There’s little difference between winning and losing, except you feel better after winning.”

“Ja, you know. Morgan Newman has been in form his whole life.”

“In our group we are expecting tough games from Tonga and Fiji.” (Uhm, Tonga? did we move to a new group?)

“I know dancing is also a contact sport but rugby is far from dancing. If you want to run with the big dogs then sometimes you have to lift your leg”

“If I lie in hospital and I hear they are putting someone’s head back on that was ripped off by Schalk then I’d say: ‘That’s Schalk, he plays aggressive but he’s not malicious’”

” I am a ‘small-brain’ person. A small-brain person doesn’t need to go sit down and study over what he’s going to say to people; it comes naturally. People who study and get A’s and B’s are clever people. But people who don’t go and study and have all that wisdom are wise.”

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